johnny boy

So I’m reading through the Gospel of John with one of my dear friends, a very wise high school student, and read through John 3 today. And I realized how much emphasis gets put on John 3:16 “For God so loved the world…” blah blah blah. It continues in verse 10 and 11 to say “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light… and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.”

How unbelievably true is that?! How much of my life do I live loving darkness and hiding from any light around me so I won’t be exposed? So my vulnerability cannot be spelled out for everyone to see.

So much of my life is lived in fear of being truly seen. It’s both one of my biggest desires and biggest fears. Go figure. But there’s something about the metaphor of light that pierces that darkness; literally. For example, last night I had to get up in the middle of the night and chose not to turn on the light. This resulted in a rather painful encounter with my doorframe because I couldn’t see where I was going. In this situation, light would have been, well, helpful.

Yet I live my life like that – I bumble around in the dark hoping to see and be seen by others and end up running into things that cause me pain along the way. Yet all the epiphanies in the world don’t change a thing.

I need Jesus to be my light. I need His word to be the lamp for my feet, the director of my path. He alone can welcome me into a light that I don’t feel afraid of exposure in. Because no matter what He sees, He still loves me.

 

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